You know that girl in a social gathering that always seems to be seen in the corner reading a book by herself? That's me. You know that girl that talks to everyone at the party and is constantly laughing with a giant group of people? That's also me. I was always a supper chipper little squirt of a kid so everyone always told me I was an extrovert before I even understood what the word meant. As I got older, I maintained the same level of energy that I had as a child. Everyone thought I was the most outgoing and energetic person in the room which seemed to strengthen my reputation as an extrovert.
But I was never really an extrovert. Up until I was fifteen, I had no idea what an extrovert really was. I was always told that I was an extrovert based on my bubbly personality. Naturally I assumed that extroverts were outgoing and introverts were shy because that's all people told me I was. It wasn't until I was older that I actually understood what the word meant. Just to clear this up for everyone: an extrovert is a person that recharges and receives energy from being around people. An introvert has to have a certain quiet time to recharge. I kind of think of it like cats and dogs. Dogs get all their excitement when their owner comes home and they have someone to spend time with and be energetic with. Cats, on the other hand, will sit on the couch and watch you move around all like like they don't even care, but late at night they will come up next to you and snuggle right next to your face. I'm the cat. It took a long time for me personally to come to terms with that fact because I thought that if I was an introvert I was not actually outgoing or energetic anymore. As if one little detail about how I process suddenly determined how I acted around people. The strangest thing, though, was when I did come to terms with it and people just didn't believe me. I'd be in class and the teacher would be like, "Who in here is an introvert?" and I would raise my hand and people would literally tell me to put my hand down. I'm not kidding, people would have debates with me to try to convince me that I was an extrovert. At the time I just kept thinking, why do these people feel the need to tell me how I process? Why can't they just trust that I know myself best? Well a lot of them still don't. People will call me and say, "Hey Bridge you've got to go to (insert cool sounding event)." And I'll decline because I would rather stay in but they'll still say, "C'mon you must be dying to get out of the house." Dude, what? This was and is still something that people will assume about me. I think there is a fundamental misunderstanding of what it really means to be an extrovert or an introvert. Despite how much I love people, when I think of myself in my happiest place, I'm not surrounded by people. I'm alone. This is a perfect example of how being alone doesn't mean you're lonely. I'm usually alone but I'm rarely lonely. Listen here baes, don't let people try to convince you how you process or how you should process. As an introvert, I burned myself out everyday trying to keep everything that people were so convinced I was. And if your a shy extrovert, don't let people tell you that you must hate being around people because you're a little quieter. Both internal and external processors can enjoy their time so much more if they know how to balance their time. So you do what helps you recharge, and remember that your personality doesn't define that.
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